The belief that you must engage with your siblings, regardless of their behavior, is something we learn from society, friends, and family. "Although this is a positive value and would be beautiful if the relationship between siblings is healthy, this isn't always the case." "Some cultures place a high value on family sticking together," Bryant said. "This type of behavior is often tolerated because it's the way it has always been since childhood and feels like the norm." Challenging beliefs about family dynamics If you're not putting in equal efforts, you can end up in a one-sided relationship that is "geared towards serving the needs of one person instead of benefiting both individuals," Fedrick said. "In addition, there can be a lack of compassion for each other's issues and concerns." "The two of you are unable to agree or disagree without projecting hostility," Cheyenne Bryant, a psychology expert who is also a life coach on MTV's "Teen Mom Family Reunion," told Insider. Even if you don't express these feelings directly, they tend to come out in other ways, such as making excuses to avoid seeing your sibling or lashing out at others.Īnother sign of an unhealthy relationship is the inability to engage in respectful dialogue.
But if you "dread spending time with your sibling or often feel angry, sad, or irritated after visits with them, it's likely because this relationship is not healthy for you," Fedrick said. If your last conversation ended with your sibling yelling or hanging up on you, you might feel a knot in your stomach to see a text from them or wonder if their silence means they're still upset with you.Įxperiencing anxiety is understandable. When you're not under the watchful eye of a parent, you might begin to relax these rules and test each other's boundaries.Īs an adult, "you may have unresolved hurt or resentments toward your sibling," Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed counselor who owns Evolve Counseling & Behavioral Health Services in Phoenix, told Insider. Having a sibling can help you learn to share, take turns, and apologize when you've hurt each other's feelings. Recognizing the signs of an unhealthy relationship For advice, I asked therapists about how to cope with unhealthy sibling relationships. Sometimes we feel guilty for not being closer to our siblings or pressured to manufacture relationships that just aren't there. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
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